


Monster

by Rosycat



Category: Underworld Office (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Temporary Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, My First Work in This Fandom, Self-Hatred, Symbolism, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:48:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29182056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosycat/pseuds/Rosycat
Summary: He knew that wasn’t what had happened. Eugene would have never been stupid enough to call on Charlie for help, weak-willed enough to let her kill Jack, despite the horrific acts he had committed.And he definitely… he definitely wouldn't have become a monster.But then… why did it still feel so real?(Game Over Ending turns to Human at the Underworld Office Ending)
Relationships: Eugene (Underworld Office) & Boss (Underworld Office)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 42





	Monster

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after the ending where Boss has to kill monster Eugene and it resets. Eugene then proceeds to get my personal favorite ending, Human at the Underworld Office. I'm not sure if its supposed to be a timeloop or just a dream in canon, but this time it is definitely a timeloop, and Eugene actually remembers the past events. I take creative liberties for angst okay.

It was a nightmare. He knew it was a nightmare, what else could it be? He was still in one piece, still working for the Underworld Office. He was friends with Luke, working hard on his schoolwork by day and helping with ghost problems by night.

He had a family, one that actually cared about him, anyway. River the fun, wild, slightly terrifying big sister, Joan the grumpy old grandma, who, regardless, always had a kind word or offer of support when needed, and Hayden the cute, puppy-dog eyed (or should he say kitty-cat eyed) little brother.

And then there was Boss…

Boss was like the father figure he never had, the one who’d adopted him into this weird little family of theirs. It may have taken him a bit to see it past the cold facade put onto his shadowy face, but Eugene knew he cared. He showed it through his little compliments, the assurances that he didn’t _need_ to be perfect, his concern when Eugene put himself into danger through his reckless need to help others, the occasional laugh, smile, or even hair-ruffle that Eugene was able to pull out of him, much to the others’ shock.

And he was _happy._ For once in his life, he was happy and cared about in both aspects of his life. So why, _why_ , did that stupid nightmare keep coming back to haunt him?

He knew that wasn’t what had happened. Eugene would have never been stupid enough to call on Charlie for help, weak-willed enough to let her kill Jack, despite the horrific acts he had committed. 

And he definitely… he definitely wouldn't have become a _monster._

But then… why did it still feel so _real?_

He could still remember it in painstaking clarity, down to the smallest detail. Fear at what Charlie would do to him if he intervened turned to primal rage towards Jack, emotions filling him that were not his own. The power flooding his veins as skin bubbled into black, the feeling of injustice as River tearfully subdued Charlie, as Boss called him his sin, a **_monster._ **

_I’M NOT THE MONSTER I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG WHAT DID I DO WR-_

The tears Boss himself had wiped away as he exorcised him. Eugene had never seen him cry before, and hasn’t since.

And then, nothing.

It wasn’t real. It wasn’t. No one had even given the faintest hint it had happened, and his soul was still bright as ever. Jack was in jail. Charlie was still locked away in Joan’s cane.

But… but maybe it _had been._

Was it so ridiculous to assume time travel existed in a world with a literal _Underworld Office?_

Eugene paused, stroking the bed sheet absentmindedly as he thought back to the morning of the kids’ rescue, the morning he woke up from the supposed nightmare, an all too familiar icy feeling slowly spreading in his chest. 

He hadn’t had much time to ponder it, then, the urge to save the kids stealing most of his conscious thought process, but…

The icy feeling expanded, creeping into his lungs as Eugene gave a hollow breath. He’d heard a voice, just after waking up.

_Make a choice you won’t regret._

Boss’ voice, appearing from nowhere, just like when he had told Eugene to do whatever he wanted… except this time it had been strange to hear, a slightly choked quality to his usual clinical smoothness.

Now, reasonably, this could have been the tail end of the nightmare, wreaking one last moment of havoc on his still-recovering psyche before fading from his conscious mind, but some part of Eugene knew that wasn't it.

The same part that had picked up on Luke’s dreams and knew they were ghost-related, that knew Kitty didn't blame Luke, that had dug into the mystery of the subway nightmares and found Charlie, that had seen Jack being haunted in broad daylight and known to follow, that had pieced together that his ghost was truly just a terrified mother.

The same part that had been trying to ignore the occasional crinkle in Boss’ eyes when he looked at him, the brief flickers of sadness that would overwhelm the otherwise fond gleam.

It _had_ happened but Boss, somehow, had fixed it.

It had _happened._

Letting out a choked cry, Eugene hunched into the softness of his hoodie, pulling the drawstrings tight in an attempt to block out the world. 

_How could he have done that? How could he have called on_ ** _Charlie,_** **_knowing_** _she was a killer, a tormentor? How could he have weakly stood to the side as she_ ** _murdered_** _Jack right beside him, fall willingly into the darkness and still believe he’d done nothing wrong, force Boss to_ ** _kill him?_**

Eugene sobbed, new, fragile sense of self-worth crumbling into fragments, a broken mirror holding his very essence. How had **_that_ ** been his first choice? He’d thought he’d been helping people, _(kind-hearted,connecting-point,hero,comradepartnercolleaguebuddyassistantfriend_ **_monsterMURDERER)_ ** but how could he believe that about himself when the first chance he got to prove himself he turned himself into a monster, against the advice of every one of his new family members? How could he live with himself when every time he closed his eyes, he could picture River’s look of horror, the tears streaming down her face, Jack’s crumpled body sprawled beside the bed as Charlie laughed in manic glee. Could see Boss’ guilt, his self-blame, the liquid streaming from his eyes too quickly to be mistaken or ignored. **_He’d done that. He’d hurt his family. Why did he deserve them, anyway? Why did they care about him, when he could so carelessly betray them?_ **

In the brief span of a single discovery, all the self-hatred he’d finally, _finally_ managed to bury came pouring back in a torrent Eugene wasn’t sure he’d ever emerge from. He couldn’t fall asleep, nor let them find him in his room. He couldn’t face them again, couldn’t face **_Boss_ ** again. How could Boss have let him return, knowing what he’d done? Knowing he was so weak, so uncaring of human life. A **monster** , in every sense of the word.

And so, as night fell, Eugene wiped his tear-streaked, fogged up glasses, pulled himself together just enough to not collapse into the haven of blankets, and left, walking zombie-like past his mother where she lay passed out on the couch. She'd never noticed him before, why would she now? Least he wouldn't have to worry about letting her down. She didn't know him well enough to feel betrayed by his actions.

He wandered emptily for a while, not sure where to go. He knew Luke would likely convince his parents to let Eugene stay the night if he asked, but he couldn't be trusted there, either. If he could let one person die, why not another?

Shivering in the chill air, Eugene slunk quietly into an alleyway, huddling up against the stone. Maybe he could go home in a few hours. The ghosts may have stopped looking for him by then, assuming he’d gotten caught up in something else and couldn’t help out tonight.

Eugene closed his eyes, glasses slipping down his nose as he tried to hold back another sniffle.

“Eugene?”

Eugene froze for a moment, hunching further into his hoodie. What was his luck that the very ghost he’d been trying to avoid would be the one to find him?

“So tired of work already?” 

His voice was smooth, composed, only the slightest hint of concern lightening the otherwise unaffected tone.

Eugene finally garnered the courage to look up through his ginger bangs, taking in the ever-elegant figure of Boss. He stood poised and certain, hanbok fluttering lightly in the night air, white eyes crinkling lightly as they took in his wrecked form.

“Eugene? Are you alright?”

And the words exploded from him like a torrent, choked with sobs of self-loathing as his glasses slipped from his face at last to fall upon the dirty concrete, shattering as he shattered. 

“Why do you still **_care?_ ** ” he shouted, words lashing like a strike from Boss’ ever present fan. “I-I let you down, I let someone **_die_ **, I became the monster you and River always warned me away from, and I couldn’t even own up to it I...”

Eugene trailed off, too choked to continue his tirade. “I’m _sorry._ ” he murmured.

“Ah.” Boss paused, realization taking over. “You remembered.”

“I never forgot,” he whispered. “I just thought it was a nightmare. I… I didn’t want to believe it was anything more.”

Boss sighed lightly, a puff of vapor colder than the surrounding night. Striding purposefully over to where Eugene sat, he, too, sat himself against the stone wall as Eugene's eyes rounded, suddenly wide enough to fit his comically large glasses, if they were still on, that is. The elegant shadow figure designing himself to sit on dirty concrete? What a shock.

"It was not your fault, Eugene. Or, if it was to be, I suppose I could best say it was both of our faults." 

Boss, even seated on cracked concrete against a background of peeling paint, cut a striking figure against the night sky. A man cut out of shadows, white eyes gleaming like the stars he stared at as he refused to meet Eugene's gaze. He found it almost easier to focus on that, on the sight of a ghost at home in the darkness, than on the subject of his words. The conversation was almost eerily reminiscent of when he had been fired. Even though he knew it was for the best, so he didn't end up hurting them again, a part of him still hoped that wasn't where this was going. 

"I knew you pitied the mother, emphasized with her desire to protect her children. That you wished I had left her be. And yet I still pointed you towards the problem, still expected you, a child, to effectively deal with such a complex moral dilemma with no guidance or aid given." 

Boss turned to meet Eugene's gaze at last, featureless eyes seeming almost… dimmer somehow. "Yes, I do not agree with what you did by calling on Charlie, by refusing to intervene when her intentions became clear. But you did still succeed in your goal of aiding the children, a feat I, myself, was unable to do as a ghost. And, when given a second chance, you were able to recognize your prior mistakes and do so once more, this time without any casualties."

He paused, and Eugene could sense that he was being studied, the ghost eying his tear streaked face to see if the words had sunk in. 

"You are a good person, Eugene." Boss continued, voice uncharacteristically soft. "Do not beat yourself up that you needed a second chance to prove it."

"But…" Eugene gazed once more at the ground, demons refusing to be banished that easily. "What does it say about me that _that_ was my first choice? I… people don't normally get second chances. Why do I deserve one? Why do I deserve…" 

He couldn't finish. Couldn't say the word. Couldn't meet Boss' eyes. _Couldn't stop Charlie._

"Don't deserve what, Eugene?"

Fingers pricked at the sleeves of his fraying hoodie, eyes boring a hole into the shattered glass littering the concrete. He refused to answer.

Boss' eyes crinkled again in that somewhat sad, almost pitying way they had when Eugene had admitted he preferred the Underworld Office to his daily life. 

_Why did he have to keep connecting it to_ **_that_ ** _day?_

When Boss spoke again, his voice was no longer just soft. It was a whisper, a fragment of shadow chased away by the sun. River would have had a fit over hearing a tone like that from Boss, he considered idly. She never would have believed the dark spirit's voice could contain that much understanding, that much compassion.

"Don't deserve us?"

Eugene nodded at that, a barely perceptible movement of the head that, nevertheless, made his bangs flop over his eyes without the frames of his glasses to protect them, errant strands tickling his eyelids.

"You know what I see when I look at you, Eugene?" Without stopping to wait for a response, Boss continued. "I see myself, when I was younger." he paused, briefly distant. Eugene shivered in the cold. "I, too, wanted to do the right thing, regardless of the consequences to myself, or to others. I made a mistake, one that I am trying to pay back to this very day." Those gleaming eyes once again met his, seeming to bore into his very core. "The Underworld Office has been _my_ second chance. Do you think me undeserving, as well?"

"N-no, of course not-!" Eugene stammered, horrified at the very thought to the extent his stutter briefly returned. This seemed to be the day of old problems resurfacing. "W-whatever you did before, y-you've done so much good since then!"

"If we are to use that as the standard, then why do you not deserve the same respect?"

Eugene didn't answer that, although the turmoil of his thoughts continued to rage within, reminding him of his worthlessness, the mistakes he'd made, his inability to so much as speak without making more but… he could feel Boss' words beginning to sink in, to blunt the teeth of his vicious thoughts. Maybe… maybe he was right. Maybe Eugene could have just one more chance.

"I recall you telling me that the Underworld Office had helped you to grow to like yourself again. You are not the only one who has been aided by this relationship." a gleam of blinding white teeth shine out from the darkness of Boss' face as he smiled. "You've helped all of us, not just Sean, Linda, or Luke. You've helped us find our humanity again. You're one of us now, Eugene. Like it or not."

Sweeping to his feet in a move so graceful Eugene could hardly see the steps, Boss extended a hand to help him up.

Eugene stared at it, knowing, just like he'd known after his encounter with Susan, that it was more than just an offer to help him stand. That it was a question. Would he go back to the Underworld Office, despite his fears? Would he be able to once again laugh with River, watch TV with Joan, talk to cats with Hayden, go on missions with Boss?

… would he be able to trust himself again?

Steeling himself, looking up into Boss' warm bright eyes, gleaming like the sun, he took the hand, and watched them crinkle into yet another smile. River would have a field day.

"Good choice, Eugene." Boss commended. "Now do not tell the others of this conversation, or I will have to remove you from the mortal plane."

And, for once, Eugene knew he wasn't serious. He allowed himself to smile, and, gaze catching the crumpled frames of his glasses, he bent over to pick them up.

_We’ll fix them._

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo it's been literal years since I last wrote fanfic but apparently this little visual novel game and its lack of content has drawn me back in and I can't escape xD. Please let me know if there's any more tags I should add, I am very rusty. 
> 
> Hope everyone is in character and that this was a decent little fic! I wrote this in a few hours and half of those were on my phone at 2AM haha.
> 
> I love and will gladly reply to comments, no matter how short!


End file.
